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You're cute, but no Asians for me. Sorry, but apologetic openings don't redeem you as a good human being. Short and to-the-point with why I wasn't wanted, I started feeling like the majority of guys didn't have any interest in me because I am Asian. Eventually became fed up and got off apps, and continue to put little effort in online dating. I recall the first few months being app-less, going out more with friends, not looking to hook-up, or even find Prince Charming to sweep me off my feet—just interacting with the gay community IRL to see what would or could happen.

But even offline here in "progressive" Vancouver, the attitude towards gay Asian men is disappointingly reflective or a result of treatment received online. The one that still stands out for me to this day was when I met a guy through a friend, who I eventually asked out for coffee.

How Online Racism Towards Gay Asian Men Affects IRL Dating

When we were leaving, he said to me that he wasn't looking for anything more than being friends; that he was a no rice, no spice kinda guy when it came to intimate relationships. A phrase that is typically used online was said to me in-person with such casual bravado, and I was basically left speechless until after the fact where I thought of many worthwhile responses.

This is a very blunt example of how online discrimination can be felt in real life, because as I spoke to other gay Asian men in Vancouver for this story they all touched upon that even though racism towards Asians is so upfront online, they've felt it in real life on a more subtle, but just as hurtful, level. For this reason, Alex, a year-old writer and first generation Chinese-Canadian said it makes discrimination more difficult to process and confront. If anything it's more subtle, more ambiguous," he told me. But I'll notice, for example, white guys checking out other white guys.

The way Asians are treated online informs Alex's reasons for feeling less desired. He says questions his own physical attractiveness in the eyes of white men, or wonders if he never catches a glance from someone simply because he's Asian. Starring Vong Show and Cassie Cao. Hosted by Leonard Chan. What an honour to be on the part of the amazing lineup at Up and Comers 7 presented by Queer and Present Danger.


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The Rivoli in Toronto is a gorgeous venue. I arrived early to set up video cameras to capture the show, and the whole setup of the room is basically perfect for filming. There are great sight lines all around and the technical and wait staff were super helpful. The lovely Robin Valerie came early to help set up the cameras to ensure everyone got great footage.

Why Asian Men Like African-American Women

I performed in the second half of the lineup. The crowd was so amazing and supportive, even cheering when I adjusted the stool!

The amazing Elvira Kurt closed the show with a remarkable set. It really meant so much to the comedians to be acknowledged by their hero. Not everyone was able to stay after the show to take this cast photo, but definitely happy we were able to get the rest of us in together. What an amazing end to a memorable night. Participating as an athlete representing Canada at Gay Games Paris was a dream come true. I had last participated at Gay Games Cleveland where I took home three medals and was really excited to visit Paris for the first time.

Everything I experienced in Paris far exceeded my expectations and by the end of my time there, I knew I had experienced a truly life-changing moment. What a sweet ride; I love the new train system as it cuts out the long commute to the airport down to just 25 minutes.

How Online Racism Towards Gay Asian Men Affects IRL Dating - VICE

Before I move on further, I really want to thank my partner Mike Jancik, without whom the trip would not have been possible. I had decided that after leaving my full-time job last year to focus on comedy that taking an expensive trip to Paris would not have been the best idea. The plane ride itself was pretty eventful. We boarded the red-eye flight to Paris and arrived at 8: There was a woman on the plane who was fairly abusive to the airline staff including assertions they had given her the wrong seat which was later dispelled when she called her friend to confirm what had been booked.

Mike had actually offered to switch seats with her to diffuse the situation but it seemed like she was more in it for the drama than to find an actual solution. Upon arriving in Paris, our first event was to march in the Opening Ceremonies.

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For me, this is one of the most important moments of the entire games. Andrew Moore puts the super in supermodel. Jean Baptiste Lacroix via Getty Images. Go ahead -- rewatch "Heroes" just for Sendhil Ramamurthy. Larry Busacca via Getty Images. And binge-watch "Lost" for Daniel Dae Kim. Ian Walton via Getty Images. Greg Doherty via Getty Images. No hot guy list is complete without Harry Shum Jr. Amanda Edwards via Getty Images. Swimmer Nathan Adrian is an eight-time Olympic medalist.

He's also won gold in our hearts, obviously.

Dave J Hogan via Getty Images. Can't forget John Cho.

Maarten de Boer via Getty Images. Some stubbly goodness from model Godfrey Gao. Brittany Wong. Suggest a correction. Canada U. US News.