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All of them had biceps larger than my head and chests that made my mouth water. But no matter what I said, their replies were almost always frisky, come-ons used with third-grade English. I asked them out for a drink; they would say something about getting it on. Eventually, they would me a link to a webcam site that asks for my credit card information.

Also, many of the guys on Grindr — even the ones supposedly seeking relationships — didn't actually want more. Take year-old Manuel for instance. After three or four cocktails at a bar in the Castro neighborhood, Manuel came over to my apartment. Ten minutes later, we were furiously making out. But things got awkward fast. Ten seconds later, Manuel bolts for the door, arguing he no longer feels "comfortable" with the situation. Grindr makes hookups easier than ever, but those seeking meaningful connections are better off looking elsewhere.

Each one closely follows Grindr's formula: Hornet's graphic interface is silky smooth compared to Grindr's, for example.

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Jack'd, Hornet, Scruff and GuySpy also one-up Grindr with a map feature that lets you search for users in other towns and cities. It's good if you have an upcoming trip and want to plan ahead for dates or other "recreational" activities. But if you've seen one or two of these types of apps, you've probably seen them all.

There's a lot of overlap with users; many of the same people on Grindr were also on Jack'd and Hornet.

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The one exception to that rule was Scruff, an app for guys with beards and possibly more hair in other areas, hence the app's name. The app's all-black, faux-tough guy motif isn't all that memorable, but Scruff has redeeming qualities — namely a narrowed down user base with more than 6.


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Scruff also offers a Scruff Match feature, which serves up, well, matches. But it only seems to pair people based on what they're looking for — dates, relationships, fun — not deeper criteria, such as common interests.

I like my guys clean-cut, maybe with a few days of facial hair, but there were some undeniably handsome men on Scruff, even if my messages on that app went unanswered. Like your men hairier? Give Scruff a shot.


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  • 1. OKCupid.
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  • But pass on the rest. The place had a s flair, marrying rustic wood with soft lighting and live jazz.

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    I was No. It approves its users based on LinkedIn resumes and friend networks. Once you get off the waitlist, which currently stands at more than , people, the app presents up to five matches per day in a clean, straightforward interface. You can either like your matches or simply pass. Mutual likes open up a digital chat window that closes after 21 days.

    I haven't found the app to be quite that exclusive, but where Grindr emphasizes people's physical characteristics and statistics in profiles, and OkCupid plays up aspects such as interests, The League highlights users' education and jobs first. More than half of all matches engage in conversation, and almost one-third of matches try to meet up IRL.

    My date was with Adam, a handsome, fast-talking twenty-something entrepreneur whose company passed through a top startup incubator. When I first moved to San Francisco more than four years ago, I avoided dating guys in tech. However, I quickly realized that was almost impossible in this city.

    But Andrew, who added me on Facebook even before our first date, proved fun. I had better luck with Jacob, a year-old startup CEO who seemed to have it all: Even better: He had read my work, quoted a line or two back to me, and sometimes even made me laugh — all of which scored him major points. On my fifth date with Jacob, we got Chinese delivered to my place. He brought over a chilled bottle of cheap champagne, and we snuggled lazily on the couch, making out.


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    • But even with champagne-colored goggles, I knew things weren't going to work. Jacob fulfilled many of the things I was looking for in a partner, but, in reality, the physical connection wasn't there. The app is great if you're a career climber who is looking for a likeminded match. If you haven't tried Tinder, chances are you've at least heard of it. The app simplified dating into a finger swipe: Swipe right to like, swipe left to pass. Pure genius. But when I swiped to the right on a boyish-looking year-old the next day, I was told that we were a match.

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      There was just one problem, though. This match wasn't actually looking for love; he wasn't even a regular guy. His name was Zedd, and he's an electronic music artist. His auto-reply was a preview link to his True Colors album. Tinder signed a deal with Zedd, and I just swiped right on one of the ads. Zedd will personally invite several lucky matches via Tinder to his upcoming shows.

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      I don't seem to be one of them, which is fine, because Zedd reportedly dated Selena Gomez, who also dated Justin Bieber — a questionable move in my book. Tinder makes so easy that it almost encourages snap hookups — and judgements. Of all the dating apps I tried, OkCupid has been around the longest.

      Today, it has more than 12 million users from all walks of life: The free online dating platform traditionally offered users the ability to write lengthy profiles about themselves. Stumbling upon a person's profile you liked was a matter of running a customized search based on filters including age, height, weight, body type, religion and relationship status. It also had a "Quickmatch" feature that emphasizes photos over text. But as mobile became more popular, OkCupid jammed more and more new features into its app, resulting in a Frankenstein-like experience that mixes in a little location-based Tinder swiping action.

      It's a feature the dating service says is equivalent to an "entire day's worth of activity" for OkCupid users who go boost-free. Several of my friends have had luck with OKCupid — I once met a guy I really liked on there three years back — so I gave it another go. The differences between OkCupid and Grindr as far as matches are night and day. Occasionally, I'll come across someone I've glimpsed on Grindr, but they're a rare sight.

      There are far fewer anonymous torso pics on OkCupid, too. While OKCupid's Quickmatch lets you swipe endlessly for people you find attractive, it doesn't let you access full profiles. You only see user photos, age, location and a compatibility percentile determined by your interests and how you answer questions posed by the service i.

      Swiping works fine in this case, but it's not as smooth as Tinder. I sent dozens of casual-sounding notes, and out of those, maybe five users got back to me. I went on two coffee dates, but nothing came of those, either. One guy named Dustin had a wholesome Midwestern-like appeal in his pics and sounded like a decent guy. We had a collection of favorite movies, TV shows and books in common. But Dustin looked nothing like his picture — I could maybe see a resemblance if squinting really hard — which is a common story for online daters.

      Because our conversation was solid the first time we met, I gave him another shot. We met at a high-end tea chain in the city, a few weeks later. But as the date wrapped up, I remembered why we didn't click. With more than 12 million users, OKCupid has a huge pool of possible matches. In trying to be everything for everyone, OKCupid nowadays is a confusing user experience on mobile. People download the us, a portion of someone. Tinder is halting new people of colombia, blued is.